Here is to you:
The “nice guy”, who has been overlooked for years. The “nice guy” whom all the girls love but no one will date. The “nice guy” who listens so well, but no one will give him a second glance. The “nice guy” who has the most tender, caring heart, but has been teased for years for being soft. The “nice guy” who has gone out of his way to love others, yet people ignore him when he is in need. The “nice guy” who treats women with respect, yet no one respects him back.
After dating enough jerkface men, I am wondering to myself “where have all of these nice guys gone?” Did I miss the boat somewhere along the way? Do I unknowingly sabotage myself by dating charismatic narcissists disguised as nice guys? Or better yet…
Have we destroyed the “nice guy” back in high school?
I think of all the girls I know now who would be delighted to date and marry that “nice guy”. And I fear that we (as a culture) have belittled each other so much that kindness is no longer a virtuous trait in men.
But it should be.
Kindness is one of the most attractive traits in a Godly man. It stems from God’s heart and looks a lot like Jesus. Kindness loves no matter what. Kindness listens when most people yell. Kindness seeks to understand when most argue their point. Kindness tempers anger and diffuses hatred. Kindness sympathizes, forgives, helps.
Imagine a society where kindness is prevalent… starting with our men. Imagine manhood redefined by a strong, gentle, kind courage. A world where men protect women rather than objectify them. A world where men care for the marginalized. A world where men lead the way in generosity, hospitality, and forgiveness. A world that is marked by men who are patient, compassionate, and slow to become angry.
I yearn for our world to be drastically changed by kind men. I yearn for my own world to be drastically changed by one kind man. I hope I’m not living in an alternate universe here; I hope that kind men do exist and we just need to encourage you.
So to the “nice guys” out there: I am so sorry we have knocked you down. I am so sorry that we have underestimated how much we need you. I am sorry we have allowed people to bully you, mock you, and hurt you. I am sorry that we have discouraged your kindness. I am sorry that we have overlooked your tender-heartedness. I am sorry that we have put you in the “friend zone” and opted to date stupid a**holes.
Please know that you were right all along, that kindness is the best way to live, and that you deserve so much better. Please find a way to heal your heart and allow God to revive your spirit. The world is in dire need of your kindness.