I enjoy being single.
There, I said it.
And it’s about time someone did.
Before I go any further, let me first say what this blog is NOT. This blog is NOT a feminist, anti-marriage rant. This blog is NOT a bitter single gals pity party. This blog is NOT a hate diatribe towards people with significant others.
This blog is a declaration of truth – not just about singleness, but about life. It is a putting down of my foot – or both for that matter 😉 This blog is an encouragement and a challenge, both to myself and to my beloved single friends out there.
The Heart behind it
I would like to address, what I think, are the three biggest lies regarding singleness: that single people are unhappy, have unfulfilled lives and are missing out on God’s greatest gift.
Whether or not people realize it, both married and single people alike perpetuate these lies. And it absolutely drives me bonkers. Because I want to look at them and say “I am happy, my life is fulfilling and even though I am single it does not mean I am alone.”
Now, I am humble enough to admit that I could possibly have no idea what I am talking about. After all, I have never been married 🙂
But, please, just hear me out. Because I truly believe that single people can have just as satisfying lives as married people. Because I am not waiting for my life to begin with someone else – I am living it now. And if prince charming just so happens to come along, then we will live it together.
Happy is such a fluff word to me. It is circumstantial, fleeting, temporary. But joy, now that is something I can wrap myself up in. And I do not believe that my joy comes from a boyfriend or a husband. I believe that it comes from the King of Kings, The Savior of the Universe, My Beloved Jesus, YHWH.
And so, I will not allow my happiness to stem from a relationship status. I am “happy” being single because I am cherished by the Creator. I belong to a God who willingly gave himself up for me and I dare not cheapen that by stooping for anything else.
Leading a fulfilling life
I love people. I thoroughly enjoy and am fulfilled and blessed by a multitude of friendships. My life is significantly marked by the relationships I have had with countless beautiful friends through the years. And as a single lady, my time and energy can be poured into other women without holding back. I view this as a gift and believe that we can absolutely lead fulfilling lives when we embrace the gifts God has given us.
I have flexibility of my time, resources and energy. If a friend calls me up in tears at midnight, I can graciously give her a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. If my gal pals want to have a girls night out, I have the privilege to devote my entire evening or weekend to them. If I long to visit a long-distance friend, I can travel to my heart’s content.
I view these all as gifts that single people are given – gifts that ought to be used lavishly as opposed to being left in reserve. Because the latter would most likely result in a unfulfilled life, pining away for some gift we do not have. I believe it is better to be excellent stewards of what we are given, and this is ultimately what leads to a fulfilled, Christ-centered life (single or not).
Missing out on “God’s greatest gift”
Maybe I have missed something in all of my training and reading of the scriptures, but to my understanding Jesus is God’s greatest gift for all people. Jesus, our salvation. Jesus, our hope. Jesus, our life.
And this is what I long my life to be centered around, driven toward, and desiring with every fiber of my being.
Not a boyfriend. Not a husband. Not marriage.
I still do desire marriage, and I do believe that it is a gift – a “profound mystery” – that I hope one day I will receive. But God never promises spouses. And so, I am banking on what He has promised and delighting myself in The Greatest Gift known to man: a dynamic, life-giving, saving relationship with Jesus.
And that, my friends, is why I enjoy being single.