I was foolish to think it would be easy. I really was kidding myself and now I am completely humbled by the daunting task that still lay before me. I was so excited, so hopeful and so sure I could raise all of the money I needed to join staff with Cru.
But the money is barely coming in and it is extremely hard.
I am discouraged, bummed, let down. I cannot do it by myself and I am painfully aware that this is truly something that only God himself can accomplish.
I could know all the people in the world, have the greatest relationships and come from a family that is extremely supportive of my decision to go into full-time ministry but none of it matters if God isn’t in it. I made the mistake of forgetting Him in this, which is counter-intuitive I know. But my pride got the best of me – or should I say the worst of me?
I need Him.
I need You, Lord. I need Your encouragement, Your strength and Your reminder that You are my portion. I need You to move in the hearts of Your people. I need to see Your Holy Spirit at work in others but first in my own wayward heart. Draw me close to You once again and show me how to trust You more deeply.
If you’re reading this, please join me in praying for the Holy Spirit to bring revival in our hearts. To move us to speak, to act and to believe on behalf of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. May He be all we need.