Painfully Stubborn

On Wednesdays I babysit an extremely brilliant and stubborn 3 year-old. She is so smart sometimes I feel like I am conversing with a 7 or 8 year-old, her memory is impeccable and she is always right. 

Tonight I watched as she struggled to put on her pajamas, all the while insisting that she could do it all by herself. It took her a lot of twisting around and wrenching at the fabric before she finally put them on … backwards, no less. All the while, I stood there watching her struggling, offering my help and then just waiting after it was denied.

After I tucked her in (and insisted that bed time meant she stay in bed no matter how “tired she felt”) I had some time to myself before her parents returned home. I took those sweet minutes to reflect on so much that God has been doing within my heart this past week and even within this past 24-hours.

In my time with the Lord, He reminded me that my interactions with this tiny little toddler are all-too-often exactly like my interactions with Himself. He is always there: offering His helping hands, aware of exactly what I need and can clearly see me flustering in my self-sufficiency… but I wrestle with life, insisting that I can do it all by myself and don’t need His help. 

I am praying to become a woman who is so intimately connected to the Lord that I rely solely on Him for my everything. And in the midst of this praying I am painfully aware that my self-sufficiency is killing intimacy with my Creator. He longs to help me out, to offer grace, love, comfort but I all-too-often turn Him away insisting that I can do it by myself.

Foolish. Prideful. Painfully stubborn am I.

Wise. Patient. Gracefully gentle is He.

He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 cor 12:9-10

This entry was published on October 10, 2012 at 11:43 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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